Living in the land of “lagom”

Well, here I am in Stockholm, settling into a new house, community, culture and language. A peculiarity of the Swedish language is the word “lagom”. We don’t have a direct translation in English so here’s how Google’s AI tool defines it.

“Lagom is a word meaning "just the right amount," "in moderation," or "not too much and not too little". It embodies a cultural concept of balance, contentment, and moderation, applied to many aspects of life, from consumption and work to social behavior.”

This got me thinking about balance - something we all want, something we struggle to achieve, and a common topic in coaching. 

Most of my clients come to coaching with the goal of gaining more balance in their lives (among other things). They’re stretched between work, family commitments, self-care, and so much more. They’re juggling way too many balls and the balls are starting to drop. When you’re in it, it feels incomprehensible to put down one of the balls. It just doesn’t feel like an option. So when people ask for balance, more often than not what they’re really hoping for is that the coach can create more than 24 hours in a day. They don’t see any other way out.

There is another way out. However, there is no miracle cure, there is no hack, there is no shortcut, and there are not more than 24 hours in a day. Like so many other things in life, achieving balance is challenging. It starts with giving yourself a long, hard look in the mirror, getting honest about what you really care about, what you really value, what’s really important to you. And then making some choices.

Yes, balance is about choice. It is about consciously choosing what to say yes to - i.e. what to keep in your life - and what to say no to - i.e. what not to keep in your life.

Take a look at your life. What takes up the majority of your time? Are those the things you value, that fulfil you, that energize you, that get you out of bed in the morning? Or are those the things that others have chosen for you, that you think you have to do in order to get along in society?

So, you say you want more balance. Try this coaching challenge of the week: 

✔️ Say YES to one thing in your life that is important to you. Commit to that one thing.

❌ Say NO to one thing in your life that is not important to you. Stop doing it!

For me, health is one of my greatest priorities. Yesterday I told my husband that I’m going to start doing a four-minute plank with him every morning (he’s been doing it consistently for over a year). I’m saying yes to that. 

I’m saying no to making goody bags for my son’s birthday parties. I find them time-consuming, wasteful, and unnecessary, but I tell myself that I “have to” because everyone else does. 

As you can see, these don’t have to be big things. Small changes can make a big difference. And they can lead you closer to a life of lagom.