“Just hire an army of help”

A lot of things happened for me at the same time. I had a child in May, went back to work in October, got a big promotion in December, and got moved from London to Paris in January. Oh yeah, during the pandemic. 

I was struggling massively so I sought advice from senior people around me who had families. “What do I do?” I said. “I’m here 10 hours a day which is the bare minimum, but still I don’t spend more than one-hour per day with my son. My husband’s job is even worse, so our son cries when the nanny leaves, because he feels more connected to her than to us. I spend the entire weekend parenting and cleaning. I never get to catch up on sleep. I’m squeezed from every side.”

And then the advice came. “Just hire an army of help”. 

I already employed a full-time nanny and a cleaner, but I guess a night nanny and someone to cook and clean on the weekends could be an option I thought. But it didn’t feel right. Did I have a child so that I could employ a nanny, night nurse, cleaner, and cook just so that I could manage both jobs? Or did I have a child to live the whole crazy, beautiful, unglamorous experience? I realized a new value. The value of “being there” and hiring an army of help would never allow me to honour that value.

Isn’t it crazy that this is the solution offered to working parents? You have a kid and work isn’t going to make any concessions, so hire a bunch of help, burn out, or leave. And when I started looking around, I realised that I could scarcely think of a couple where both parents were working full-time. They had all faced the same problem and had chosen “leave”. It took me two years to wrap my head around it, and a lot of health problems in between, but eventually that was my choice as well. 

This is the corporate world’s loss. Competent, qualified, experienced, educated, passionate professionals are leaving the workplace after 10-25 years of educating themselves and investing in their skills, just because we cannot think of another way of accommodating employees during this season of their lives. So I ask, what’s worse? Losing a competent 30-something professional to their family? Or giving your employees some more flexibility around their time in order to juggle both?

I guess my opinion is clear. I would like to see the corporate world change to accommodate employees through all that life throws at them. Progress is being made but not overnight. So what to do now? 

If you’re crunched between your work and homelife, and you feel stuck in the middle of hiring help, suffering through it, or quitting, let's talk. I can support you in coming to the right decision for you. And if the decision is to push through, I can support you in doing that without running constantly on empty. I can support you in finding more balance in your chaotic, full to the brim life.

What additional support would you like in order to manage your work and home life?