Au revoir Paris, hej hej Stockholm!

It’s less than two weeks until I fly out of Paris, wrapping up a joyous yet tumultuous four and a half years of my life, and causing me to reflect on how I’ve grown, what I’m leaving behind and what I’m taking with me. 

I arrived in Paris the mom of a six month old boy, who had just gone back to work after a short maternity leave; who had just received a huge and overwhelming promotion; who was isolated from friends, family and society due to the pandemic; who didn’t speak or understand French; who was driven by an intrinsic motivation to win, build, and give; who was consumed by her need to please others; who was hardwired to put herself last; who was guilty about the lack of time her son received from his parents; who was guilty about the lack of time her work received from her; who felt pulled in a million different directions; who felt like she couldn’t keep everyone happy; who drove herself sick trying.

I leave Paris the mom of a beautiful five year old boy, who quit her corporate job to put herself and her family first; who is pursuing her passion of supporting others and her mission of changing the corporate world into a humane and equal place; whose life is rich with connection and love; who kind of speaks and understands French; who is driven by an intrinsic motivation to build, give, and make an impact; who still wants to please others but is working on it; who has given so much to her son that, quite frankly, it’s her time again; who prioritizes her health and well-being over her achievements.

I’m leaving behind the dog-sh*t lined streets (honestly Paris, it’s disgusting. Sort it out). I’m leaving behind the enraged Parian motorists and the stress they evoke in me. I’m leaving behind my resentment about how motherhood changed my whole life yet barely impacted my husband’s. I’m leaving behind my fear of following my husband to his home, for his career, and what that makes me. 

I’m taking with me lifelong friendships, a stronger family, priceless memories, self-acceptance, and clarity on what matters most. I’m taking with me the person I’m becoming - a purpose-led professional, striving to be better, striving to make the world better, but taking everything in its time, enjoying the journey along the way, and not losing sight of myself.

Before I fully move on, I’m grieving the friends that I won’t see every day, the apartment that has given us a home all these years, and the places and people that formed my son’s childhood.

This next chapter is calling to me in many ways: rich connection with nature, health and serenity, time with family, another new language, and a crystal clear vision on my career and the mission I want to achieve.

Merci Paris pour tout ce que tu m'as appris. Stockholm, jag är redo.